There’s this quote from the movie Grease, where Sandra Dee gets her heart broken by Danny Zuko. The Beauty Queen Drop Out tells Sandra “Men are rats. They’re fleas on rats. Worse than that, they’re amoebas on flees on rats!”
Bear with me here, because I have quite a bit of experience in getting my heart broken. Sometimes it was justified; other times not so much.
And as a warning: if I sound bitter in this post, it’s because I am.
There are so many feelings that come with starting to like somebody. There’s the rush of excitement, and sometimes you fall more in love with the butterflies than you fall in love with the person. There’s the nervousness. There’s the gushing over the fact that he likes puppies, and coincidence (I think not!) you ALSO like puppies! I mean, if that doesn’t mean you’re meant to be together, I don’t know what does.
“Help! I’ve fallen (in love) and cannot get up!”
And then there’s that one day you see him flirting with another girl, or talking to his ex-girlfriend, or whatever, and you suddenly feel like second choice.
You compare yourself to her. You wonder:
Why did he choose her over me?
Am I not pretty enough?
Am I not funny enough?
Are my clothes shabby?
Am I not kind?
And I can’t claim to have the answers to questions of self-worth. I won’t tell you to love yourself because that’s not a command to obey; that’s a lesson to learn.
For all the girls who feel like second choice, I’m right there with you. To all the girls who sit at home with their cat, listening to Beyonce, we’re going to get through this. We’ll eat our pizza, cry our eyes out, and in the morning we’ll be okay.